Why do we like judging someone?

Most of us, not intentionally but unconsciously, seek pleasure. The fortunate ones find pleasure in their work, and some find it in helping others. Ramakrishna Paramhansa, a great yogi and mystic, found pleasure in meditating on a Hindu deity, Maa Kaali. But some unfortunate ones who don’t find pleasure in these things turn to either food, drugs, watching movies or web shows, and consuming addictive substances. There are also other things that we might be addicted to but are not aware of. These are what I call dopamine snacks, which give us a short sense of pleasure. These include reels or any short form of content, and the most unrecognizable habit which almost all of us perform is bitching and judging. Although we can argue that the chemical release from meditation vs. judging can be different, to make this blog much simpler, for a naive brain, initially everything is recognized as pleasure.

I won’t touch much upon pleasures like drugs and alcohol, which all people talk about these days. I’ve also written a good blog on how pleasures and dopamine work.

Today, we’ll shed some light on why we judge people and why we bitch about third parties (I’m sure not everyone of us does this, but we might have done this at some point in our life). Let me make it very clear that I’m no philosopher or saint-like personality. I’m just documenting my views and my learnings. I’d rather encourage my audience to question my thinking and email me what they think. I’ve found myself in several situations judging people, complaining, and bitching about third parties. Until I thought that doing this is of no use, later I also got to know what it does to your behavior, mind, and body.

But, Yuvraj, if we like judging or bitching about people, and we’re not harming them, then what’s wrong? This was the same question that I had. We’ll solve all the questions, and your brain will be much lighter and open at the end of this blog.

I want you to think properly about why we judge people. I was at a party, and I saw a boy similar to my age. He was damn fit, and he looked good. It seemed like he had worked a lot on his personality. But a sudden thought came into my head, Nah! He might not be as knowledgeable as me, bruh!

Wait, I didn’t think this intentionally? Why do I think and try to make myself superior and better than him?

Probably because I might have a fear of not being better than him, but why does it even matter?

Actually, does it even matter? What will happen if he’ll be better than me? Nothing will happen!

We judge people or we bitch about people because, for instance, we are putting ourselves above them. Hence, we are getting a short pleasure doing this. But is it fundamentally wrong to do this? Yes! Allow me to give the answer spiritually and rationally.

Judging, bitching, complaining, or always noticing the negative parts of life is a sign of an unhappy mind. Because the mind is so unhappy and so insecure, it constantly seeks pleasure. Once it senses pleasure in judging someone or finding a flaw in something, it gets addicted with time, and we keep on judging people and complaining about things. It’s important to recognize whether it’s a genuine complaint or a pleasure-seeking habit because sometimes we do need to complain about things that are harming us or doing injustice to us.

What Happens When We Keep on Judging People?

When we keep on judging people, we start thinking that another person might judge us too. Hence, we become more insecure, and we feel like people are judging us all the time. But it’s not the case. Think of it this way: you judge someone instantly, maybe for like 10 seconds or less, then you forget about it. The same happens with other people. No one remembers you. Chill!

But this insecurity increases to low confidence and low self-esteem issues. And then social anxiety. Oh god! Stop it! Sorry, but it’s important to see the truth and solve it.

What Happens If We Keep on Saying Negative Things?

When we keep on noticing flaws in things, when we think this is the flaw in this dish, in people, in place, then we eventually come to our life. It’s so predictable that if you’ll find flaws in everything, then your life is also a flaw.

I read a very good article on the relationship between emotions and body. It tells how emotions get stored in our body, and eventually, these trapped emotions become the cause of anxiety, stress, and depression. Studies have also shown that negativity affects our immune system, stiffness in our body, and can be the reason for a few diseases. The point I’m trying to tell you is that it might feel pleasurable or very nice to bitch about someone or judge someone, but it will damage our body, our soul, and our peace of mind in the long term. Sometimes we don’t even know why we are feeling so sad and so anxious. I do think that we also judge people because we think we are in a competition, and somewhere we think that a person better than me means he’s a rank above me. We think like this because of our initial education ecosystem, but it’s not the case. Life is a single-player game, where you and others can win at the same time. Hence, you should embrace and encourage brotherhood instead of judging them.

In Vedas, the concept of non-duality is explained very well. It says – everything is one. Similar is what Einstein said – Everything is made up of the same energy. It is not a philosophy but physics!

We forget that you and I are not different. You, me, and Einstein are no different. We are all one! If you’re judging someone else, that means you’re judging energies, which are inside you and others. Be a free man who embraces everything, doesn’t care what people think about him, like me, sitting and writing in a cafe shamelessly for an hour, wearing shorts and slippers. I’ve ordered barely a cup of coffee and using this cafe’s ambiance. The manager is constantly staring at me. Lol… Maybe I should go now. Bye.