Encountering Purpose of Life?

Not so long ago, days were going well, work was at its best. It was a phase of achieving a big milestone. I was walking on my terrace, on a new moon day. I was reflecting upon life in general, being grateful for whatever I thought of, GOD gave me. A simple thought arises in my mind – What else is the purpose of life?

It was also that phase where I was reading some spiritual texts such as Vedanta ( please try to understand that when I say “I’ve read this”, that only means that I’ve read the content inside the book, that doesn’t mean I’m very knowledgeable or I have some wisdom ). Seems like I didn’t have the answer to this question, which made me a little disturbed initially, gradually, the question wasn’t going from my head. Every interval of 30 minutes my mind was poking with this question “What is the Purpose of this life?” And fortunately, unfortunately, my brain was conditioned by great texts of Vedanta and Bhagavad Gita, which provoked me to think differently. For example, if I would sit and decide to come to a conclusion, What is the purpose of this life? The answer I personally could get was Work. But this also seems very unconvincing because why do we work?

To get busy? or earn money? Or do we like it?

I was thinking a lot about GOD, or the higher power, I still don’t know what’s the reason. It was not a pleasant feeling, It was a feeling of confusion, I think the major reason was that I was so engrossed in reading Vedanta, that made me damn confuse, for example –

if attaining money is a pleasure, if seeking love is a pleasure, then, what to do? If there is GOD, if I attain money, wether, I’ll attain GOD? Is GOD Shiva, but Vedanta says, god is within me.

At this point, thinking with the first principle made me feel worse, because thinking with the first principle made me go towards the creator of this world, this humanity, which we often describe as GOD. I was feeling as if this world is fake, everyone is seeking dopamine pleasures.

Very dangerous thoughts like if we don’t know the purpose of this life then what is the point of living, that made my body shiver from top to bottom, it was one of those rarest moments of life where I felt, pointless, pathless, meaningless, worthless and a huge sense of misery. I couldn’t focus on my work for days, because what is the meaning of work? if we don’t know our purpose.

I think it was happening because somewhere I was seeking a higher meaning to life, and back of my mind I was searching for GOD, and because the root towards GOD was so unclear and confusing, I was not able to connect the dots, earlier I used to love my work, try to enjoy small moments and wins in my life, I was happy in my life. But I started questioning the materialistic pleasures, love, and all the happy moments of life.

But I was a bit lucky with the people I have around me, I told myself that I might not be the well-read person in this world, there are people who have read more than me and hence they must have gone through this situation too. I discussed it with a lot of people, some advised me not to read spiritual texts, and some advised me to travel, to explore more. It was my Childhood English teacher, who was more of my life teacher at that time, who said – Yuvraj, Life is actually very Simple, It’s us who make life unnecessarily complicated.

This feeling of Existential Crisis didn’t go until I read a guy, a fairly old guy, a guy who seemed different from others. He was Jiddu Krishnamurthy. I don’t know who this guy is, but his thoughts, his voice, and his questions made me very clear. He said – you’ll not find the answer in any spiritual texts or going to the Himalayas. You’ll get the answer by sitting in silence and listening to yourself while listening to your thoughts. Jiddu Krishnamurthy ji was the one who said, don’t have a conditioned mind, a conditioned mind is full of rules and fears. Have a free mind, see everything as if you are seeing this for the first time.

The teachings of Jiddu Krishnamurthy are very similar to Vedas, but often a lot of things lose their essence with time, and Jiddu Krishnamurthy is the one who made me understand this with his own style.

Now if you’d ask me what is the purpose of life? – There is no purpose in life! that is the most beautiful thing in this world, we have got a playground, where we can do anything with freedom.

Nowadays, I see things as if I’m seeing this for the first time, I work with full focus, with all my attention into it, I’m typing this right now with full focus, in a very pleasant state of mind, and there’s no point in asking anything at this point. Jiddu Krishnamurthy is the one who taught me how to love, how to live life. I’m the happiest ever, I’m clear in my brain. There is so much more to write about.

I somewhere think that this feeling of the existential crisis was necessary and meant to happen. I feel blessed that it happened to me. Which gave me a huge sense of clarity. Which changed my perspective of how I look to life, and how I look to the creator of this world. For me earning money and learning something wasn’t a problem, I just asked for a meaningful life from this universe.

There a very few basics and simple key principles that Jiddu Krishnamurthy taught me and those are –

1. The role of self-introspection is more important than anything else.

2. To learn to be in complete focus to be completely aware in doing something.

3. To Love people, to love your partner, have a sense of selflessness.

I do believe in god, I have not experienced god, some people might have experienced it. God for me is everywhere, from humans to Shiva Linga, I bow down to everyone. I think work is not the most important thing in life, neither earning money, but, doing things with full focus is the goal. With so much focus that majority of our brain cells get de-activated, and we experience a great sense of stillness and peace. Doing work with full focus can generate massive money, loving your partner, your loved ones with full focus can have the best relationships.

I guess, you’ll get to see a lot more similar blogs. Bye.