Admitting my mistakes.

Admitting my mistakes.

Hi, touching my keys on the keyboard not with the purpose of coding or searching anything. But, to write my mind. It’s been long. I left writing because I became a businessman, and when I say a businessman. I mean, I was expecting some results from doing this. It is a good feeling to publicly admit my mistakes, although a few 10 people will read this till the end..lol. But, when I stopped writing blogs, I realized that it used to give me a sense of running emotions and thoughts. Fast forwarding it to yesterday. I had a meeting with a psychologist, and also a life coach. I shared with her that I am not feeling optimally at peace, as i used to feel before. We talked for a good 1 hour or so, when I told her what i do i do, what is my routine, and what are my hobbies. Let’s say i spoke for 30 min of the one hour, the next 30 minutes, she didn’t even speak, she scolded me as if an adult scolding a child on what the hell you doing with your life. I was a bit surprised too because in all the answers to her questions, there were these common words - “work, read, code” Which was unusual for me too because I know the fact that I am not that genius kid, nor i have a single percent of interest to become that. When she asked about my hobbies, I knew i used to like doing sketching and photography. But, for some weird reason, i wasn’t able to tell that, i just told - work and think of how to get more clients.

There are a bunch of things I was doing wrong:

• Wasn’t sleeping for 7-8 hours

• Wasn’t eating the the right food.

• Not having a hobby or free time to rest my mind.

• Because of my 12th board exams & not working for 2 months, I was thinking a lot on how to onboard more clients.

• And on top of this, I as a dumb kid, was reading and watching philosophy, thinking - peace is here.

I did realise a few things when you fuck up your sleep. Try reading any non-fiction or philosophy. It will fuck your mind more. It’s like you are eating more, even when the food is not digesting in your stomach. Hence, you get an indigestion, indigestion of the brain. When you don’t sleep, don’t take time to rest or slow down your mind. You cannot even analyze the situation on why am i not feeling optimally.

But now, I am getting better, i have improved a lot. Writing this blog is a sign of that, and it is a good practice to do things without expecting anything in return, I also want to write poetries ahahaaa. Because the magic of being in moment of this is so much more beneficial than that. I am eating right these days, started tracking my sleep and I am not reading philosophy. I will also start blocking my time to think and brainstorm on my game.

I used to say this thing philosophically, that - When you are able to enjoy the birds chirping, you have reached.

Now I will say - In order to enjoy the birds chirping, you have to sleep properly.

That’s all for today :)

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